Subject: [dnsext] editorials in draft-ietf-dnsext-dnssec-registry-update-01

From: Alfred Hönes <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2012 19:10:44 +0200 (MESZ)

I observed a few editorial nits in
  draft-ietf-dnsext-dnssec-registry-update-01
that should be fixed before publication as an RFC.

(1)  Section 1

* 1st para:

Similarly as in the algo-signal I-D,
   "... digital signature algorithms (consisting of a cryptographic
    algorithm and one-way hash function)."
is an unfortunate verbiage.  My suggestion here is to insert
"public key-based " or  "asymmetrical " in front of
"cryptographic algorithm", to properly qualify the latter term.
In the last line, "a" should be added after "and" to balance the
language.

Further there is a singular/plural mismatch in the 2nd line:
"Extensions" (plural) <==> "uses" (singular)
Better:
   The DNS ... Extensions ... use digital signatures ...
                              ^^^

Finally I suggest to include the list of DNSSEC citations in the
parentheses in the 1st two lines and add the explanatory words
", defined by" before that list.

Altogether, after application of these suggestions, the 1st para
would look like:

|  The Domain Name System (DNS) Security Extensions (DNSSEC, defined by
|  [RFC4033], [RFC4034], [RFC4035], [RFC4509], [RFC5155], and [RFC5702])
   use digital signatures over DNS data to provide source authentication
   and integrity protection.  DNSSEC uses an IANA registry to list codes
|  for digital signature algorithms (consisting of an asymmetrical
   cryptographic algorithm and a one-way hash function).

* last para:

Typo:   s/auxillery/auxiliary/
               ^^        ^^

(2)  Section 2.1, last para

The preceding text does not reproduce the description values
currently found in the registry table.  Therefore, the beginning
of the 2nd para does not make much sense:

|  The above values are changed to "Reserved" because ...
             ^^^^^^
I suggest to replace "values" by "entries" or "assignments"
to achieve a proper logical connection to the preceding text.

(3)  Table in Section 2.2

* The 1st heading line of the table is misaligned relative to
  the 2nd heading line and the body of the table; it should be
  shifted to the left by two places.

* In the Description column for Algo # 1, please correct the typo:
  s/Depricated/Deprecated/
        ^          ^

Best regards,
  Alfred.