Subject: [drinks] Comments on draft-ietf-spp-framework-02

From: Dean Willis <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:14:37 -0500

I've been through the framework document again and outside of a few editorial comments, it looks pretty good to me. Here's what I have:

In section 3, we talk an awful lot about "protocol" for a framework document:

3.  Framework High Level Design

   This section introduces the structure of the data model and provides
   the information framework for the SPPF.  The data model is defined
   along with all the objects manipulated by the protocol and their
   relationships.

3.1.  Framework Data Model

   The data model illustrated and described in Figure 2 defines the
   logical objects and the relationships between these objects that the
   SPPF protocol supports.  SPPF defines the protocol operations through
   which an SPPF client populates a registry with these logical objects.
   Various clients belonging to different registrars may use the
   protocol for populating the registry's data.

This suggests that it might be worth grepping through the framework for all uses of "protocol" and vetting them.

Page 18 has:

        The .PubIdKeyType is used in Delete and Get operations on a
        Public Identifier object.

Is there really supposed to be a period in front of PubIdKeyType?

6.3 SED Group says:

   As described in the introductory sections, a SED Group represents a
   combined grouping of Destination Groups containing a set of Public
   Identifiers with common Session Establishment Data(SED), The common
   Session Establishment Data Records, and the list of peer
   organizations that have access to these public identifiers using the
   associated SED information.

This doesn't seem like a proper sentence. Is it a comma splice? Should it be multiple sentences? I tried rewriting it several different ways and they all turned to gobbledygook, so some rethinking may be needed here.