Subject: [Int-dir] Review of draft-ietf-savi-mix-11

From: Ralph Droms <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 15 Oct 2016 09:39:28 -0400

I am an assigned INT directorate reviewer for <draft-ietf-savi-mix-11>.
These comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Internet
Area Directors. Document editors and shepherd(s) should treat these
comments just like they would treat comments from any other IETF
contributors and resolve them along with any other Last Call comments
that have been received. For more details on the INT Directorate,
see http://www.ietf.org/iesg/directorate.html

I have one technical issue with the document.  In my opinion, the
document would benefit from a little more detail regarding how the
binding table is used for filtering.  Even a sentence to the effect of
“It is beyond the scope of this document to describe the details of
the filtering mechanism and its use of the combined SAVI binding
table.” would be helpful.

In section 7, I don’t understand “the principle of decision is reasonable”
Can this phrase be reworded for clarity?

The document needs a review for consistency, english language usage
and spelling.    For example, this sentence appears in section3:

   If more than one SAVI method is enabled on a SAVI
   device, the method is referred to as "mix address assignment method"
   in this document.

but the phrase "mix address assignment method" appears nowhere else in
the document.

- Ralph

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From: "Jun Bi" <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 17 Oct 2016 23:57:48 +0800

Dear Ralph,

Thank you very much for the review !
We will submit a revised version according to your comments.

Best Regards,

Jun Bi
 
From: Ralph Droms
Date: 2016-10-15 21:39
To: int-dir
CC: draft-ietf-savi-mix
Subject: Review of draft-ietf-savi-mix-11

 

 
- Ralph