Subject: [ippm] Comments on draft-ietf-ippm-rate-problem-02.txt

From: William Cerveny <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 16 Apr 2013 14:22:58 -0400

Hi Al,

In my reading of draft-ietf-ippm-rate-problem-02.txt, I saw the
following small grammatical things:

1) The first sentence of the abstract, "There is a rate measurement
scenario which has widespread attention ...", seems a little vague in
that I would expect the first sentence of an abstract to be specific and
to the point about the contents of the document.
2) At the end of the introduction, you have the words, "This memo" and
no more...
3) "2.  Purpose and Scope"; for text "... it is sufficient to Identify
the problem ...", identify should not be capitalized.
4) "2.  Purpose and Scope"; sentence: "There are several aspects of
Type-P where user traffic may be examined and directed to  special
treatment that may affect transmission rates." -- would changing
"directed to" to "selected for" change the intended meaning and perhaps
improve clarity?
5) "2.  Purpose and Scope"; last paragraph, last sentence: "However, the
problem statement will mandate that support for one or more categories
of rate measurement methods and adequate control features for the
methods in the test protocol." I think if I re-read the sentence in a
specific way it makes sense, but on initial reading, it looks like there
is a phrase missing.

Bill

On Fri, Feb 1, 2013, at 06:02 PM, [email-masked] wrote:
> 
> A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts
> directories.
>  This draft is a work item of the IP Performance Metrics Working Group of
>  the IETF.
> 
> 	Title           : Rate Measurement Test Protocol Problem Statement
> 	Author(s)       : Al Morton
> 	Filename        : draft-ietf-ippm-rate-problem-02.txt
> 	Pages           : 11
> 	Date            : 2013-02-01
> 
> Abstract:
>    There is a rate measurement scenario which has wide-spread attention
>    of Internet access subscribers and seemingly all industry players,
>    including regulators.  This memo presents an access rate-measurement
>    problem statement for test protocols to measure IP Performance
>    Metrics.  Key test protocol aspects require the ability to control
>    packet size on the tested path and enable asymmetrical packet size
>    testing in a controller-responder architecture.
> 
> 
> 
> The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
> https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-ietf-ippm-rate-problem
> 
> There's also a htmlized version available at:
> http://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-ippm-rate-problem-02
> 
> A diff from the previous version is available at:
> http://www.ietf.org/rfcdiff?url2=draft-ietf-ippm-rate-problem-02
> 
> 
> Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
> ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/
> 
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