Subject: [Ips] I-D ACTION:draft-ietf-ips-isns-mib-10.txt

From: [email-masked]
Date: Fri, 20 Oct 2006 18:50:02 -0400

A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts 
directories.
This draft is a work item of the IP Storage Working Group of the IETF.

	Title		: Definitions of Managed Objects for iSNS (Internet Storage Name Service)
	Author(s)	: K. Gibbons, et al.
	Filename	: draft-ietf-ips-isns-mib-10.txt
	Pages		: 0
	Date		: 2006-10-20
	
The iSNS protocol provides storage name service functionality on an 
   IP network that is being used for iSCSI or iFCP storage. This draft 
   provides a mechanism to monitor multiple iSNS Servers, including 
   information about registered objects in an iSNS Server. 
    
   This memo is a product of the IP Storage (IPS) working group within 
   the Internet Engineering Task Force.  Comments are solicited and 
   should be addressed to the working group's mailing list at 
   [email-masked] and/or the authors.

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From: Lars Eggert <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 25 Oct 2006 17:01:02 +0200

Hi,

below is the AD review for draft-ietf-ips-isns-mib-10. This document  
is basically ready to go, modulo a few editing nits. Nice job!

Lars

 >    [email-masked] and/or the authors.

   Suggest to move the first sentence of this paragraph to the
   acknowledgments section and remove the second sentence altogether.

Section 4., paragraph 2:
 >    "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED",  "MAY", and "OPTIONAL" in

   Nit: s/,  "MAY"/, "MAY"/ to make idnits happy

Section 5., paragraph 27:
 >        of DD's and DDS's, SNMP may be used to modify them via

   Nit: s/DD's/DDs/ Nit: s/DDS's,/DDSs,/

Section 5., paragraph 28:
 >                0       SNMP protocol is allowed to modify
 >                        DD's/DDS's

   Nit: s|DD's/DDS's|DDs/DDSs|

Section 5., paragraph 31:
 >       "The identifer for the unique integer Entity Index

   Nit: s/identifer/identifier/

Section 5., paragraph 37:
 >               30       1 = IKE/IPSec Enabled; 0 = IKE/IPSec

   Nit: s/IPSec/IPsec/g

Section 5., paragraph 43:
 >        object.  The definitiions of each setting are defined in

   Nit: s/definitiions/definitions/

Section 5., paragraph 55:
 >        object.  The definitiions of each setting are defined in

   Nit: s/definitiions/definitions/

Section 5., paragraph 87:
 >        when registerd in the iSNS Server instance. Either the

   Nit: s/registerd/registered/

Section 5., paragraph 156:
 >        iSCSI node name MUST be indentical in all DDs, and is

   Nit: s/indentical/identical/

Section 5., paragraph 162:
 >        is only done when a specific set of portals are prefered

   Nit: s/prefered/preferred/

Section 5., paragraph 195:
 >       "The iSNS Management IP Address for the registred Entity

   Nit: s/registred/registered/

Section 5., paragraph 197:
 >       "The iSNS Entity Registration Timestamp for the registred

   Nit: s/registred/registered/

Section 5., paragraph 297:
 >        regisered in the iSNS."

   Nit: s/regisered/registered/

-- 
Lars Eggert                                     NEC Network Laboratories