Subject: [quicwg/base-drafts] Some editorial cleanup for #1262 (#1285)

From: Martin Thomson <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2018 00:31:09 +0000 (UTC)

@kazuho's excellent PR left a few tiny things unresolved.  I merged it anyway.  My turn.
You can view, comment on, or merge this pull request online at:

  https://github.com/quicwg/base-drafts/pull/1285

-- Commit Summary --

  * Some editorial cleanup for #1262.

-- File Changes --

    M draft-ietf-quic-transport.md (22)

-- Patch Links --

https://github.com/quicwg/base-drafts/pull/1285.patch
https://github.com/quicwg/base-drafts/pull/1285.diff

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From: ianswett <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2018 00:35:11 +0000 (UTC)

ianswett approved this pull request.

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From: Mike Bishop <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 11 Apr 2018 10:41:05 -0700

MikeBishop approved this pull request.

> @@ -698,18 +702,18 @@ sequence of frames, as described in {{frames}}.
 
 A sender can combine multiple QUIC packets (typically a Cryptographic Handshake
 packet and a Protected packet) into one UDP datagram.  This can reduce the
-number of UDP datagrams required to be emitted when application data can be sent
-during the handshake.  A packet with a short header does not include a length,
-so it has to be the last packet included in a UDP datagram.
+number of UDP datagrams sent when application data is sent during the handshake

I think Kazuho was trying to avoid using "sent" twice in the same sentence.  Maybe change the second one to "included," "transferred," etc.?

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From: Martin Thomson <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2018 01:48:58 +0000 (UTC)

@martinthomson pushed 1 commit.

231f5d6  sent sent sent

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From: janaiyengar <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2018 14:28:26 -0700

janaiyengar commented on this pull request.

> @@ -698,18 +702,18 @@ sequence of frames, as described in {{frames}}.

There's confusion here about what "packet" we're talking about. This entire section is about "QUIC packets", but this particular subsection is about UDP datagrams, and not really about QUIC packets. I think we should do away with giving this a name, since we don't otherwise refer to the container UDP datagram as a "simple packet".

I would suggest renaming this section to "Coalescing Packets", and then the rest of the text simply works for the most part (with a few suggestions below).

 A sender can combine multiple QUIC packets (typically a Cryptographic Handshake
 packet and a Protected packet) into one UDP datagram.  This can reduce the
-number of UDP datagrams required to be emitted when application data can be sent
-during the handshake.  A packet with a short header does not include a length,
+number of UDP datagrams needed to send application data during the handshake and
+immediately afterwards.  A packet with a short header does not include a length,
 so it has to be the last packet included in a UDP datagram.
 
 The sender MUST NOT combine QUIC packets belonging to different QUIC

s/combine/coalesce/

>  so it has to be the last packet included in a UDP datagram.
 
 The sender MUST NOT combine QUIC packets belonging to different QUIC
 connections into a single UDP datagram.
 
-Every QUIC packet that is being conveyed in a compound UDP datagram is a
-complete QUIC packet.  No fields in the packet header are omitted.  The receiver
-of a compound UDP datagram MUST individually process each QUIC packet and
-separately acknowledge them, as if they were received as the payload of
-different UDP datagrams.
+Every QUIC packet that is conveyed in a compound UDP datagram is a complete QUIC

s/is conveyed in a compound UDP datagram/is coalesced in a single UDP datagram/

>  so it has to be the last packet included in a UDP datagram.
 
 The sender MUST NOT combine QUIC packets belonging to different QUIC
 connections into a single UDP datagram.
 
-Every QUIC packet that is being conveyed in a compound UDP datagram is a
-complete QUIC packet.  No fields in the packet header are omitted.  The receiver
-of a compound UDP datagram MUST individually process each QUIC packet and
-separately acknowledge them, as if they were received as the payload of
-different UDP datagrams.
+Every QUIC packet that is conveyed in a compound UDP datagram is a complete QUIC
+packet.  Though the values of some fields in the packet header might be
+redundant, no fields are omitted.  The receiver of a compound UDP datagram MUST

s/compound UDP datagram/coalesced QUIC packets/

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From: Martin Thomson <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2018 21:33:40 +0000 (UTC)

d112e81  Jana's comments

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From: Martin Thomson <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2018 15:13:55 -0700

6b45109  some more coalescence

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From: janaiyengar <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2018 22:15:14 +0000 (UTC)

> @@ -694,22 +698,22 @@ packet protection in detail.  After decryption, the plaintext consists of a
 sequence of frames, as described in {{frames}}.

-## Compound Packets {#packet-compound}
+## Coaslescing Packets {#packet-compound}

nit: s/#packet-compound/#packet-coalesce/

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From: janaiyengar <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2018 15:17:15 -0700

@janaiyengar pushed 1 commit.

aa8ea44  packet-coalesce

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From: janaiyengar <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2018 15:17:30 -0700

janaiyengar approved this pull request.

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From: janaiyengar <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2018 15:19:26 -0700

4136e40  more coalesce

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From: Martin Thomson <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 12 Apr 2018 22:21:07 +0000 (UTC)

Merged #1285.

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