Subject: [quicwg/base-drafts] Editorial: More concise intro text (#3380)

From: mirjak <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 22 Jan 2020 07:44:49 -0800

Just a proposal but I would prefer to remove the advertising slang (&quot;decades of transport and security experience&quot; and &quot;makes it attractive&quot;).
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  https://github.com/quicwg/base-drafts/pull/3380

-- Commit Summary --

  * Editorial: More concise intro text

-- File Changes --

    M draft-ietf-quic-recovery.md (18)

-- Patch Links --

https://github.com/quicwg/base-drafts/pull/3380.patch
https://github.com/quicwg/base-drafts/pull/3380.diff

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From: Mike Bishop <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 22 Jan 2020 09:28:26 -0800

Isn't the introduction the right place for ad copy, though?  It describes what the document hopes to achieve and why it's worth doing.  I think some of the rewording you've done here is an improvement, but I'm not convinced we should edit out the fact that we're trying to incorporate many years of work that hasn't been universally deployable.

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From: Martin Thomson <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 22 Jan 2020 14:46:23 -0800

martinthomson commented on this pull request.

I too found the sell a little too strong.  This is better, but I also find the list of un-referenced claims of where this is inspired to still be a little hard to stomach.

I've made something of a suggestion here about what might be said that doesn't rely on reciting a list of unreferenced sources.

> -attractive as a modern general-purpose transport.  The QUIC protocol is
-described in {{QUIC-TRANSPORT}}.
-
-QUIC implements the spirit of existing TCP congestion control and loss recovery
-mechanisms, described in RFCs, various Internet-drafts, and also those prevalent
-in the Linux TCP implementation.  This document describes QUIC congestion
-control and loss recovery, and where applicable, attributes the TCP equivalent
-in RFCs, Internet-drafts, academic papers, and/or TCP implementations.
-
+QUIC is a new multiplexed and secure transport protocol atop UDP, specified in
+{{QUIC-TRANSPORT}}. This document describes congestion control and loss
+recovery for QUIC. Mechanisms described in this documnet follow the spirit
+of existing TCP congestion control and loss recovery mechanisms, described in
+RFCs, various Internet-drafts, or academic papers, and also those prevalent in
+the Linux TCP implementation. Where applicable, this document attributes the TCP
+equivalent.

This last sentence seems incomplete.  I think that you are saying that the mechanisms here are informed by TCP.  Any differences are necessary as a result of differences in QUIC relative to TCP; or demonstrably advantageous as a result of QUIC lacking some of the limitations of TCP.

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From: Jana Iyengar <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 22 Jan 2020 18:11:46 -0800

janaiyengar approved this pull request.

I'm fine with this new language.

> @@ -90,17 +90,13 @@ code and issues list for this draft can be found at
 
 # Introduction
 
-QUIC is a new multiplexed and secure transport atop UDP.  QUIC builds on decades
-of transport and security experience, and implements mechanisms that make it

```suggestion
recovery for QUIC. Mechanisms described in this document follow the spirit
```

> -of transport and security experience, and implements mechanisms that make it

```suggestion
the Linux TCP implementation.
```

```suggestion
```

I don't think this last sentence is useful or necessary.

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From: mirjak <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 2020 01:26:06 -0800

@mirjak pushed 1 commit.

f458ac8271c7e50e1111794d454e52eee9bf590f  Update draft-ietf-quic-recovery.md

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From: mirjak <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 2020 01:26:47 -0800

@mirjak pushed 1 commit.

26a38dd8278fb208ff2610fc5b2aae5ec671206b  Update draft-ietf-quic-recovery.md

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From: mirjak <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 2020 01:27:25 -0800

mirjak commented on this pull request.

I just took that from the old intro. Removed now.

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From: Jana Iyengar <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 24 Jan 2020 17:44:44 -0800

@janaiyengar pushed 1 commit.

d8d72ab1e2c156657bc06f07f36585c66bdb06da  Update draft-ietf-quic-recovery.md

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