Subject: [secdir] Secdir last call review of draft-ietf-lamps-rfc7030est-clarify-07

From: Catherine Meadows via Datatracker <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 06 Jul 2020 07:24:16 -0700

Reviewer: Catherine Meadows
Review result: Has Nits

I have reviewed this document as part of the security directorate's ongoing
effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG.  Document
editors and WG chairs should treat these comments just like any other comments.

This draft sets forth changes to the syntax of Enrollment over Secure Transport
(EST) (RFC7030) to fix some errors and ambiguities that resulted in
interoperability issues.  RFC7030 also includes a form of header that has been
deprecated in other RFC’s.  This document thus deprecates that header as well.

Since the only changes to the draft makes to the syntax are either to clarify
ambiguities in the descriptions and to deprecate syntax that has already
deprecated by other RFC’s, it presents no new security or privacy concerns. 
However, I found a few typos, etc. that I am listing below.  They are all of
the sort that would be missed by a spell checker.   I don’t know if I got all
of them, so I’d suggest another round or proofreading.

I consider this document Ready with Nits.

Abstract

some errata that was reported

should be

some errata that were reported

This document fixes some
   syntactical errors in ASN.1 that was presented

assuming that the word “was” refers to the errors, that should be

This document fixes some
   syntactical errors in ASN.1 that were presented

In the Privacy Considerations Section

This document does not disclose any additional identifies

should be

This document does not disclose any additional identities

---

From: Michael Richardson <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 06 Jul 2020 14:57:45 -0400

> I consider this document Ready with Nits.

I have submitted -08 with the three corrections you noted.
Thank you.

    > This document does not disclose any additional identifies

This is amusing, given that identities often identify.
Thank you for noticing.

--
Michael Richardson <[email-masked]>, Sandelman Software Works
 -= IPv6 IoT consulting =-